So this is new for me, only because I dont really “blog” about my religious experiences. As only a select few know that im a Christian, and while I’m a very spiritual person, I never really express what I’m battling with spiritually. (People have a misconception that a Christians life is easy as a pie..MISCONCEPTION).
So I’ve graduated from college, and I’ve been out of school for almost 5 months now. I am still unemployed. And this is where my spiritual warfare takes place…..As a growing christian, I have been taught and shown that our life plans as human beings, and God’s plan for us, usually never match (surprisingly enough, its usually the complete opposite). I had it all figured out before I even graduated college; where i was going to go, what I was going to do, and how I was going to do it. To my dismay everything that i feared would happen if I hadn’t put my plan into effect….happened. So here i sit, at home, where i dont really want to be, unemployed, no car, no job, no money, really no social life. ??W H Y?? I ask myself, why is it so hard for me to even get a regular part time job?…why is it so hard for me to branch out, and become the guy i want to become, and grow into the person that i want to be?…While left, and right, my family members, friends, and peers, were getting jobs, making major moves, and here Rashawn sits WITNESSING all of it… So finally I broke down, I think I may have even shut God out for a little while, because I was confused, angry, bitter, sad, all at the same time, and I didnt want to approach god with that type of attitude (it wouldnt work).
So mind you, I’ve been feeling like this for some months now (since June), here i sit on September 19th coming to this conclusion that actually put a smile on my face (although nothing has changed)….
JAMES 1:2-4 …”Consider it pure joy, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything…
That right there ^^^ is the reason my heart has been lifted, and my spirit has somewhat been renewed. I finally realize now, more than ever, that God loves me enough that he’s putting me through this hard time in my life because whatever he has in store for me..i’m CLEARLY not ready for. While I think i know whats best for me, and i THINK i know what i Want to do, God knows otherwise. While I realized that its okay to make plans..its okay to have goals, and dreams (according to the word you’re supposed to), if I dont include God in leading me in that direction..It’ll NEVER happen. so yes, I’m a 22 year old, College Graduate, with No job, No money, No car…but what I do have is a God that is planning something HUGE for me, and with patience, endurance, and above all
F A I T H
all of my wishes, dreams, and goals will come into play. :)